I have my memories, but Heaven holds my dreams.This memorial website was created to remember our dearest Joshua Eugene Durbin who was born in California Riverside on August 17, 2001 and passed away on December 20, 2001. You will live forever in our memories and hearts.
My dear sweet Joshua was Born on a hot summer day in August. I started having contrations early in the morning and by 1:00pm he was delivered c-section. Because Joshua was born via c-section he had some fluid in his lungs and had to stay in the NICU for 8 days. When we got him home, I was so happy to have my baby boy by my side. Joshua remained healthy the four months of his life. The only thing that seemed any cause for concern was his breathing. To me it seemed like he breathed very strangly, his whole chest seemed like it caved in as he took breaths. December 17th 2001 I took Joshua to the emergency room because it seemed like his breathing was becoming quite irratic. Joshua had developed what seemed to be a common cold and the doctor basiclly explined his irritation for me bringing my son to the emergency room for a cold and sent us hom. When I got home, I made a follow-up appt with his regular doctor for that Thursday morning 3days later. Joshua was scedualed for a 10:00am appt with his doctor, he never made it. Joshua was found dead by his father at 5:30am December 20th 2001. The screams of his father will always haunt my ming for as long as I live. The paramedics tried to revive Joshua, but he was gone, they placed his little sleeper they had cut off his body over his face and asked for everyone to step away, my son was dead and nothing could be done. His father angry screamed and cursed them for not doing enough, but Joshua had been gone for about 2 1/2 hours from what the deputy coroner told me. At times I still read his autopsy report thinking that maybe I'll have an answer I missed before. My sons death was presumed "Undetermined". I have no ryme or reason for my sons death other than SIDS. And still then the Coroner was undecided. I miss him so much. Sometimes, I sit quietly and ask him to come to me, just so I could feel him. The death of a child is so sad, it tares a hole inside your soul that can never be filled. Enjoy the pictures of my lovely son and thank you for remembering him with me.
